Sorry to Have to Say Good-Bye
Cain's seizures started to get worse. Instead of head tremors they were turning in to full body, muscle spasm tremors. He was drinking more, eating less and peeing every 30 minutes.
Yesterday his stomach became very bloated and he was having trouble breathing. In my stupidity I assumed he had a seizure I did not see and was just coming out of it. This happens when he has one and he just ends up resting the rest of the day. I thought rest was what he needed. This morning he did not want to come out of his kennel. After 30 min he finally gathered enough strength to go outside and pee. Then he came back in the house and started to pace. I waited until 8am which was 3 more minutes and called the vet. We took him right in.
Dr. Buck was waiting, along with her assistant Trish. Big M had to carry him in.
Cain had a tumor that ruptured and it was bleeding in his belly. The blood was being absorbed into his system. It was pretty bad. She said he could die on the table or they might be able to find it, remove it, and give him chemo and radiation and he might make it 3 months because it was so progressive. (sorry I cant remember the cancer she called it).
I told her it was time to let him go. I knew in my heart this day was coming soon ever since he started having the seizures.
Today I had to say good-bye to my best friend of 8 years, Cain. The photo was taken right before she administered the sedative to relax him before giving him the shot to put him to sleep.
As I repair my heart what worries me now is his sister Casey, 2 years younger than Cain she has a lot of life left. I must do all that I can to make sure she does not become overly depressed and stop eating. I have a long road ahead.
Cains ashes will be buried in the cemetery next to my grandparents. I am sad to see him leave my world, but I am happy he is entering a world where people will love him and he is free from seizures, cancer and pain.
Thank you to everyone who followed this blog and took the time to comment.
I do not know how to continue this blog, perhaps Casey telling stories. We will see. I do have some product reviews I need to finish for some people that were nice enough to sponsor this blog.
I commented on your other blog as well. He was very blessed to have been part of a family that loved and cared for him and now he has made that journey over the Rainbow bridge. The choice to continue this blog will be yours, however, I do think continuing Casey's story would be a very fitting use of what you started here. It gives you a chance to talk about him and to continue to reach out first to help her with her grief and then to share the joy of her life with you.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard. I've had him since he was 6 months old. Seems like just yesterday. He was such a good boy. Calm. Happy. Peaceful. Loving. Gentle. He will be missed. It was a hard choice to let him go, but I knew I was going to have to at some point after being diagnosed with his seizures and the road he had ahead of him. I am blessed to have spent 8 wonderful years with him. I would not change anything. I always did the best I could with the resources I was given. I may have gone through a poor period in life, but Cain never went without. He gave me spirit when mine was lost and when suicidal thoughts crossed my mind during my dark depression, he gave me a reason for living. Casey needs me now more than ever. Not only am I still her mum, I am filling her void of her missing brother. There is a road ahead we must walk on, but right now that road we are walking is better health. It hurts and its hard to not see him around here today. But he is safe, happy, and healthy where he is now.
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